Big, Bad Ajarn (Teacher) Frank

Today, I inadvertently laid the smack-down on some students and I wanted to share what happened:

I have a class of 1st year medical students and I absolutely love them; they're smart, witty, funny, they engage me, I make fun of them, I throw markers at kids who come in late, etc. -- it's all fun. I enjoy teaching the class, and I think they are fond of me. So, tomorrow's Mother's Day aka the Queen's birthday (FYI: Thailand has a very influential royal family, although the family isn't as engaged in the political scene as it once was), and as with many of these random Thai holidays (which are often, and freakin awesome!! Thais love their holidays), I get alerted far later than everybody else. It's usually the students who'll mention something, then I ask a member of the faculty and they confirm it, a couple of days before the actual event; I've had a whole week of a class canceled on one day's notice. So, because tomorrow's Mother's Day, one of my medical students, Berm, rolls into my office and asks if we can have class canceled today. He says that all the medical students and it seems like only 3 kids will actually be around; the rest of them were already home or were planning to go home early. I'm sitting there thinking, "Shoot, I get to go home early today!!!" but I'm a bit skeptical, so I don't give him a definitive answer. I just told him to show up and if we didn't have enough students, I'd cancel class. In fact, I had no intention of teaching.

Class starts at 1PM, so around 12:30 I start walking to the Faculty of Medicine without my backpack or any teaching material. I usually ride my bicycle there, since the van they provide us to the Fac. of Medicine usually arrives at our faculty (Humanities and Social Sciences) kind of late, but this morning it rained heavily so I decided to take a songtaoh into school. I get closer to the Fac. of Medicine and I see a few of my students walking around here and there. Some of them caught a glance at me and had that guilty "Oh Shit!" expression on their faces when a teacher catches you skipping class, and others let out a semi-audible "Ooooyyyyyyyyyy!!" which is the Thai equivalent of "Maaaan" or "Shoooooot," or any other stretched, often nonsense, word used to express surprise or agitation. I sensed that something was up.

I got to my classroom and just chilled for the next 10 minutes waiting for 3, 4 kids to trickle in. Over the next few minutes though, a full 30 (out of 37) of them show up, and I'm a bit pissed. I was clearly lied to, and these kids were slyly trying to take advantage of my niceness. I gotta give them props for trying, I mean, I've done my share of bullshitting in my life, but the teacher in me just couldn't believe how bold they were in trying to con me. I tell myself that I want to teach them a little lesson on honesty and not lying/cheating, so I sit in silence for a little while, then get up and say something along the lines of: "So, I was told that there would be only 3 students in class today, but almost everyone's here. Either you think I'm stupid or you lied. You see I'm a very nice guy, but I don't like lies, and you lied, and I'm disappointed...blah, blah, blah." I finish off with a dry: "That's all I have to say, have a good day," wave, and walk out like a G! I have to say, my theatrics were on point... Silence....nobody moved. The second those words came out of my mouth I started realizing what I had done: I'd crushed these kids. Thai kids are taught from a very early age to respect and pay deference to authority and I had let them know that they let me down. Plus, here I am - big, bearded, and when I put on my "angry face," I can look pretty mean...I probably scared the crap out of them. I didn't feel good about it, and I knew that they felt so much worse.

I was walking back to my faculty, when I heard 5 of my students calling out my name. Two were on motorcycles, and 3 were on foot, chasing me down - it looked like a movie scene. They came to explain themselves and apologize for lying. I told them it was OK, that I wasn't mad, but that they shouldn't do it again. Next, I'm in the canteen (outside cafeteria area) back in my faculty, and another 3 students come up to me begging for forgiveness. This group includes Berm, the kid who had told me that everyone had gone home and that I should consider canceling class, who just looks terrible. The whole time I think he was holding back tears. I tell them that I've already forgotten the whole thing, that they should just enjoy Mother's Day (how cruel am I to do a thing like that before Mother's Day? 30 moms are gonna be worried by how depressed their children look), and that I'd see them in class on Friday. I try to smile and be kindhearted the whole time because I didn't mean to tear them down so badly. They leave, but I still sense that they're feeling down.

Before coming to Thailand I had been warned about how sensitive Thai students could be, but I definitely didn't realize how bad it could get. Criticism, especially from a foreigner, can just be damning, and students particularly are nervous about being singled/called out in front of their peers; in a society so strongly rooted in community networks and the essence of inter-connectivity, being blatantly individualized can be the worst feeling in the world, and can cause one to lose face. I guess I'll have take it easy on my kids next time so that I don't crush their spirits, but at least they won't try to bullshit me again, that's for sure. I feel like I need to bake them a cake or something to show them that I'm really not that upset. We'll see how Friday goes.

Hope you enjoyed the tale of Big, Bad Ajarn Frank. Take it easy.